


Dean Winchester and the Drunk Sexual Crisis

by cptsdgavino (orphan_account)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dean being a cutie patootie, Fluff, Humor, M/M, a confused cutie patootie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-25
Updated: 2013-08-25
Packaged: 2017-12-24 14:13:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/940941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/cptsdgavino
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I mean, wow could you be any less interested?" Sam smiled, ignoring Cas' question.</p>
<p>"I was interested!"</p>
<p>"Yeah. And that's why she's already flirting with someone else?"</p>
<p>Dean snapped his head around to see Ivy leaning over a table, shamelessly flirting with an equally hot girl.</p>
<p>"Oh my god," Dean mumbled, snapping his head back forward.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dean Winchester and the Drunk Sexual Crisis

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not exactly sure.
> 
> Thanks to Hayley for without her this wouldn't exist and would also be rather horribly written.

Dean Winchester almost missed dingy little bars filled to the brim with drunkards and whores. The God-knows-how-old peanuts, the always refreshing beer, and the rowdy laughter of people having more fun than him.

He almost missed it.

He had gotten used to cooking little gourmet meals in the Batcave for Sam and Cas. The bar burgers he used to love so much seemed horribly bland in the shadow of his home-cooked meals.

But it wasn't like he was complaining out loud. Sam looked like he was having fun chatting away with a heavy makeup-clad blonde. And Cas... well, he was being Cas.

Adorable, awkward, out-of-place Cas.

Wait, no.

Dean took a quick gulp of his beer, earning a confused look from the former angel siting next to him. Dean decided he wasn't drunk enough for a sexual crisis, so he ordered another beer.

"Wow sugar, you trying to get drunk?"

Dean looked up to the source of the voice; a tall redheaded girl with too-short shorts and a tank top was smiling flirtatiously at him. Dean chuckled and the girl sat down in the empty seat to his left.

"I take that as a yes. Mind if I join you?" the girl drawled in a thick southern accent.

"Not at all."

The girl ordered herself some fruity sounding drink and turned to look at Dean. "So, do I get a name? Or can I just keep calling you sugar?"

"Dean," he replied.

"Ivy." The girl smiled.

"Castiel," came a deep voice from Dean's right, causing Dean to gulp his beer again in order to refrain from hitting his head on the bar in frustration.

Ivy laughed, undeterred by Cas' awkwardness. "Some wingman you got there, Dean."

"Tell me about it."

Her smile disappeared for a moment but reappeared as the bartender handed her a colorful drink.

"I'll see you around, Dean," she said with a smile.

"Alright." Dean smiled back as he watched her walk away.

Dean took another sip of his beer, wondering what happened to his game until he heard Cas say something he didn't catch.

"What?" Dean turned.

"I said, was that a successful flirtation?" Castiel asked in an all-too-innocent way.

"No," Sam interrupted, stepping up behind Dean.

"Yes," Dean snapped back defensively.

"Wow." Sam laughed, sitting down on the barstool that was just occupied by Ivy.

"What do you mean 'wow'?" Dean asked indignantly.

"Wait, so was it a successful flirtation or not?" Cas asked again.

"I mean, wow could you be any less interested?" Sam smiled, ignoring Cas' question.

"I was interested!"

"Yeah. And that's why she's already flirting with someone else?"

Dean snapped his head around to see Ivy leaning over a table, shamelessly flirting with an equally hot girl.

"Oh my god," Dean mumbled, snapping his head back forward.

"What?" Sam asked.

"She's flirting with a girl."

"Uh, yeah. Do you really have a problem with that Dean? I mean I thought you-"

"She was just flirting with me," Dean interrupted, "but she... I mean... she was... what?"

"Dude, give it a rest, she's probably bisexual," Sam shrugged, sipping his beer.

"Bi-what?"

"Bisexual. You know, where someone is sexually attracted to both genders?"

"Oh my god, is that a thing?" Dean probably sounded really desperate but be didn't care. If there was a thing for liking both genders then he was going to take it and run. It was a lot better sounding then being strictly gay.

Sam nodded slowly, obviously baffled that Dean had no clue different sexualities existed. But that nod was all Dean needed.

"OH, THANK GOD," Dean shouted turning back around to Castiel. Dean grabbed Cas' face and in a declaration of his new found sexuality, Dean planted a kiss on Cas' lips, earning a surprised "mmpf" from Cas and a quiet "oh my fucking God" from Sam.

When Dean pulled away he smiled brightly at a very confused Cas, and waited for any reaction. Dean was about to run out screaming when Cas finally smiled back. A huge, bright, purely joyful smile at that.

Triumphant, Dean stood up, threw his hands in the air, and shouted, "I'M BISEXUAL."

Sam groaned, Cas laughed, and across the room Ivy threw her hands up and shouted, "ME TOO!"

Maybe Dean was too drunk for a sexual crisis.


End file.
